Potty Training - It's more of a lesson for me than her.

I never thought I’d be one of those types of parents.  You know, the kind that just do everything for their little one in order to make certain their little one is successful.  Those types annoy me, honestly.

Before kids, my husband and I were SSOOOO certain what kind of parents we’d be.  We’d be cool and laid back.  We’d let our little ones learn from their experiences, and not keep them in a bubble to protect them.  We wouldn’t finish their homework for them or do their science projects for them.  How would they learn if we did that?  How would they become confident in their own abilities to accomplish things on their own?  How would they become motivated in the future to do things in a timely fashion if they didn’t learn the disappointment of failure?

It was all so easy and logical to know that this is how life would be as a parent.

It’s never that easy, is it?

Right now, I feel the tug of the image of what I thought I’d be and what my knee jerk reaction is.  Jaina is officially potty training.  We got the thumbs up from her school to start dropping her off wearing panties (making sure to pack a few extra pairs, and extra pants, and socks, and shoes…I packed 6 of each…).

We were so thrilled to start this process and so we set up a plan to include additional positive reinforcement for her successes; a.k.a. bribery.  Whatever.  Don’t judge.  We got a large calendar and some large smiley stickers.  Each day she stayed dry at school she would get to put a smiley sticker on that day.  In addition we got a small (read – quite large, actually) box of cheap toys and suckers that she gets to pick an item from when she gets a new sticker on the board.  (FYI – Target $1 bins are fantastic places to shop for not too big but not too small motivational positive reinforcement items.)

Her first day she had 4 accidents and several successes.  Her dad confessed to me that he nearly broke down when she asked for a sticker and toy, then bursting into tears when she was informed she couldn’t have one. 

I probably would have too, though. 

The second day I got the honor of picking her up from school and before I barely got through the door she had leaped into my arms announcing “Mommy, I dry!  I get new toy!  Let’s go home!”

She was successful all day.  I was so happy.  As we left, the teacher informed her to remember that if she also stayed dry at home, they would have a special treat for her the next day.

So here’s where I am tempted to become one of those parents striving for their child to be successful at all costs.  She had an accident that evening at home.  When I dropped her off at school the next day I was surprised at how much I let it hurt me to tell the teacher when she asked.  I think I was successful at hiding any disappointment.  I think…I hope…

Moving on…(sometimes its better to do that than dwell, right?)

And as I sit and watch her on the camera playing in her classroom today, I keep catching myself trying to see if she’s still wearing the same pants, or really really wishing I could go pick her up RIGHT NOW, not because I really miss her or something, but mostly because I want to take her home before she has an accident so she can continue her streak of no accidents.

But that’s not fair.  I know that.  I logically know this, yet my mommy heart yearns so bad for her to not experience any pain or failure or disappointment.  For now, my logical brain wins out.  I hope this discomfort I’m feeling works just as well at teaching me an important lesson as J’s potty successes and failures do to teach her.  So that one day, when something really big comes along, I can confidently watch her face it head on, on her own, and stay proud of my strong independent daughter.

Mental Checklists and Stickers

Sunday was such a productive day.  More so than any in recent memory.  I had a mental checklist of things to accomplish, which is odd for me because I usually write these things down instead of just keeping them in my head.  But I think I was afraid to write them down because I didn't know if I would be able to accomplish all of them and I didn't want a written note of my failure. 

Yeah.  My justifications get weird sometimes.  I just go with it, so you probably should to or it can get too frustrating.  Trust me.  I speak from experience on this matter.

Moving on...

My mental checklist looked something like this:
-Spend time with Jaina.

-Clean the master bathroom
    -because it hasn't been cleaned in months....literally...and it is getting so discusting that I'm almost to the point of wanting to get ready in another room.  Wonder which room that would be....upstairs?  Too much of a hassle...crap...I'm off track...I should write this down so I can keep it straight...

-Do a load of laundry.  J's blanket from school needs to be washed...stay on track, Krista...

-Go grocery shopping with J when she wakes up from her nap.

-OH!  That means I need to make a list before she wakes up.

-OH!  That means I need to clean out the fridge so I can make a list so we can go grocery shopping...

-Fill up gas tank after grocery shopping (so I can get the $0.10 discount per gallon on gas...Woohoo!)

-Decorate front yard for fall and Halloween.

-Make dinner.

So as not to leave you on the edge of your seats, I'll just straight up tell you I did actually accomplish each of these items on my list, although some were a bit modified.  For instance, I cleaned my bathroom except for the tub and the shower.  The shower has an auto cleaner thingy and I rarely use my tub.  I decorated some of the front yard.  I had 4 bags of spider webs to put up.  I got through 1 before J just couldn't handle being outside anymore.

Grocery shopping was fun and before we finished checking out, J started shouting for stickers.  I had forgotten that our Kroger gives stickers to kiddos who are buckled into their buggies when they get to the checkout line.  I asked J where she was going to put her 4 stickers.  When she was at a loss, I provided a suggestion of her cheek.  She giggled and said, "no, mommy!  On YOUR cheek!"  So I did.  I proudly stomped around with a huge sticker on my cheek.  I got gas in my car with a sticker on my cheek.  She was so tickled.

As I was about to pull out of the gas station, I looked back to check on her.  I really shouldn't have been surprised by what I saw, but it still caught me off guard.

There's one on her right cheek, too, by the way.

Anniversary Weekend Recap

5 years married.  And it has only felt like 4 years.  I kid...sort of...mostly...

My man and I make a good team, and ultimately that is what I think is the secret to our success so far.  And, we don't take too many things too seriously.  Like this whole anniversary thing.  We didn't even bring it up until 2 days before when I mentioned to him the traditional gift is wood.

Ha.  Haha!  Yes, wood.  I can TOTALLY give my husband some wood.  And he can then give back to me in turn....

Anyways, we chatted about it and within 30 minutes had booked a babysitter to show up Saturday at 10 am.

This of course meant we got up at 8:30 am to frantically clean up the house before the babysitter got there.

Which also meant that once she showed up and Jaina happily and without a moments hesitation jumped into her arms, we disappeared into our bed room to do this:

It's not what you think, people!  We're playing on our iPads.

It was the perfect beginning to a wonderful day.  We casually meandered around our room, taking our precious time getting ready in a childless environment (despite the occasional shouts and giggles and bangs that made their way to our ears from upstairs).

Then we headed out on our mission for the day - to find a wooden Buddha statue and a proper table to display it.

We looked at this:

Too frilly with the necklace and arm bracelet.

 And this:

Husband tried to convince me the stripes were on purpose...I don't think so.

 And this:

Too metal...and it was standing instead of sitting.

We decided to mull it over during lunch and set out to find our traditional place to eat for our anniversary:  a hole in the wall place that we'd never eaten at before.  Yeap.  For our anniversary each year we take turns picking a hole in the wall restaurant to try out.  When we came across this place we thought it fit too perfectly into our "wood" theme to not eat there.

Barn = Wood.  Right?

My wonderful husband takes food very seriously.  And always relies on the serving staff to recommend food.  He usually finds good food that way.  But to be fair, there are few things my husband wouldn't consider good food.

Ordering food is very seriously business.  My favorite pic of him recently.

My wonderful husband whom not just a few hours prior proclaimed that he just doesn't facebook from his phone was caught doing this in order to paste on his facebook:

It was Mac and Cheese covered in Chili, bacon, cheese, tomatoes, and...I think that's it.

 After lunch we kept with our meandering pace for the day and meandered our way through some antique stores close by.

And in one such store we found this:

Beyonce, anyone?

For anyone who follows The Bloggess you will immediately recognize this beauty of a chicken.  And it could be yours for the low low price of $495!  The Bloggess got hers for $100, so I think we're probably getting a little ripped off on this...

We eventually realized we needed to make a decision about our Buddha statue and get home to relieve the babysitter, so we stopped at a few other places and this was our final result:

Still need to hang the picture...

To end our day we decided to finally put our backyard fire pit to use, despite the unfinished nature of the rest of the yard.  Burning some wood kept perfect with our theme.  To resolve the issue of soft dirt around the pit, we opted for hay bales and blankets to sit on while we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows in the first cool Texas evening of the year (temps in the 50's).

Sitting on hay bales wrapped in blankets - the southern way to campfire sit.

Roasting hotdogs.  She fell in LOVE with roasted hotdogs!

Roasting Marshmallows.

First taste of roasted marshmallow.  Can you say "new addiction?"

After we put the little one to bed, the hubby and I stayed up chatting around the fire and staring at the flames.

Eventually, we got to feeling sleepy and old and called it a night with the last of the embers dieing down.  It was 9:45 pm...old fogy's we are...

Shopping adventures with an Opinionated Toddler

It was a good weekend.  A kind of weekend I wish I could have every weekend, but alas, obligations inevitable get in the way.

Friday evening started with picking my little one up from school.  I didn't even make it 3 steps in the door before she bowled me over with hugs and excitement.  After she calmed down, I just HAD to get her riled back up again by announcing that her and I were going shopping.  Her reaction to that was far beyond what I anticipated, though.  She was so thrilled and overcome with joy she couldn't stop jumping up and down and shouting "we goin' sopping!"  Her classmates were laughing so hard it just added fuel to the fire and she kept on going.

The weather was grey and filled with promises of cool weather to come.  The forecast was for the weekend temps to dip into the 40's.  In Texas, we usually don't see those temps until December or January.  It was the perfect excuse for me to get some new items for Jaina.  She's still on her dresses kick - wearing only dresses when she gets the choice.  Occasionally, if the mood is just perfect, I can convince her pants are fantastic, relying on her fascination with pockets as the bribe.  All of her dresses were sleeveless which makes for very frustrating mornings when you try to explain to a very determined toddler she can't wear that particular dress even though it's her "fav-it, mommy!"

But of course, Princess Leia striked again on this shopping trip.  Anything Jaina would have liked, Leia does not.  Leia only wanted Princess Leia like dresses and none were good enough for this particular royal Highness' tastes.  Eventually, with some creative coaxing and some focus her most favorite clothing topic - shoes - we were able to begin our shopping spree.

So now's when I think I should come clean.  I have a slight mental addiction.  My week spot for baby clothes is Nautica for Kids.   I've honestly only shopped there 4 or 5 times since J's been born, but that's because I know if I went more often, my bank account would be in some serious trouble.  Lucky for me (and my bank account) there is a Premium Outlet mall in my town, so it's easier for me to justify getting those items I love.

This trip, however, was different than the last ones in that I had J with me and she was very vocal about what she wanted and didn't want.  Out of all the wonderful and beautiful and adorable things in the store she picked only this after some coaxing:

I guess it was unfair of me to expect her to like that style.  After all, this is how she dressed herself that morning:

After a few more stores we stopped at the toy trolly for a photo op...ahem...for her to play and have fun...

All in all I think we did a good job, had a good time, and got plenty of warm things for her to wear.  Of course, by Tuesday it'll be back in the 80's...that's Texas weather for you.  Don't like it, wait a while, it'll change.

I didn't go overboard, right?  Right!

Besides the one Nautica dress, here are a few other cutie items we picked up.

She needs at least one good holiday themed shirt each year.

I didn't ask her if she liked this one.  I just got it.  Bad mom?  Nah.  She'll learn to love it, I'm sure!

I figured we're starting our shopping routine this year.  This is the first time she is able to wear clothes for longer than 2 months without growing out of them.  I can buy her items she can wear for a whole season.  So, I'll shop at the beginning of each season and pick up clearance items for the season that just ended for her to have next year.  Sounds like something I can stick to, right?

Multiple Personalities or Normal 2 Year Old Stuff?

I don’t know if I should be concerned.  Every time I hear her speak those words, I mentally remind myself it’s just all in good fun and totally normal.  Once she’s to bed, I casually snicker with my husband over it and then nonchalantly lead the conversation into a discussion on the normality of it all.  We quickly dismiss any implications of it not being normal and move on to watching our Tosh.O or South Park, or Star Trek rerun (we like to mix it up with our spare time tv watching).

It all started about 2 months ago.  One weekend evening we decided to have a movie night.  We closed all the curtain, turned out the lights, set up the upstairs living room with drinks, candy, popcorn, and blankets.  Jaina and I decided to let Daddy pick the movie.

Daddy decided it was time to share his all time favorite movie with his best girl.  So Star Wars it was.

We started with Episode Four, of course, because we’re hard core fans, of course.  And by “we” I mostly mean “my husband”, of course.

She was enthralled, to say the least.  She was hooked is an understatement.

Any chance she got after that to ask her daddy to “wats Taa Wazz” she did.  And any time she did, he acquiesced.

We found books that were at her level and they quickly became curled at the edges with the creased corners and spines that tell their own story of being well loved by someone.

A few weeks before October, with the first Texas day with temperatures less than 90 degrees, I began wistful dreams of autumn and my favorite holiday, Halloween.  I knew if I was to get  J the most perfect costume, I would need to start early.  So that evening I asked her what she would like to dress up as for Halloween.  I figured she was old enough now to understand the concept and to provide some feedback or preferences.

Boy was I right!  With only a moments hesitation when first asked, she quickly responded with utter enthusiasm “PRECESSS EIA!!!”

Just to make sure she really wanted to be “Princess Leia” and that it wasn’t just some passing whim due to most recently watching the movie, I asked again several days later and a few days after that.  She never hesitated on those inquires.  It was always Princess Leia.  I even suggested alternatives, but none could be even considered or else a mountain of tears would pour forth down her cheek to flood my sympathetic heart.

So off to Etsy I went and promptly bought her a homemade Princess Leia costume.  Mostly because I can’t stand to put her in a store bought factory made costume that looks like a store bought factory made costume.  Maybe that makes me a costume snob, but whatever.  I would have preferred to have made the costume myself but I’m realistic with the hectic nature of my life right now and realize it would be ridiculous to actually expect that to happen. 

The day it came in I showed her and she refused to do anything BUT put it on right away.  It was quite a battle to convince her to take it off for bed and an even bigger battle to keep her from wearing it to school the next day.  Luckily, I was able to hide it safely away to keep clean until Halloween day.  After that, she’s welcome to wear it whenever and where ever she likes.

So, I’ve given you all this long background to lead up to the thing that sometimes worries me…no, doesn’t worry me at all because it’s completely normal and all in good fun…but secretly I sometimes wonder if I should be worried…but I know it’s nothing, really…

Her teachers at school informed us last week that Jaina was not Jaina that day.  She requested (more like demanded if you know the typical 2 year old communication styles) that she was Princess Leia.  Apparently, she only responded to being called Princess Leia.  The teachers chuckled and grinned at it and were as equally tickled with the creativity of this little girl as we were at this development.  How cute and funny and creative for a 2 year old to pretend this and to pretend it to such a point that she ask other’s to recognize her pretend play?  A.dor.a.ble.  To the extreme.

And then it became something more.  She switches back and forth between being Jaina and Princess Leia so many times now that I feel like I’m dizzy from it all.  Princess Leia likes to eat Goolash.  Jaina does not, though.  Jaina LOVES string cheese.  Princess Leia is so much of a fan of it.  Both enjoy bananas.  Jaina likes grapes.  Jaina likes to be held like a baby, Princess Leia is a very big girl and wants to walk into school all by herself without ANY help from mommy.

At Grandma, as we related this story to her grandparents, J's grandma suddenly disappeared for 5 minutes, emerging again from her secret crafting place she disappeared to (grandma's are amazing like that) with a Princess Leia "dress" and a bun's headband.  Jaina went NUTS!

 

Every night for over a week she insisted on wearing her costume the moment she got home from school.  IT eventually morphed into needing a "hood" with her costume.  For dinner one night, she sat like this for over 20 minutes:

So here’s what I’m NOT really worrying any little bit about…I swear…these certainly aren’t the first signs of multiple personalities.  She’s just a 2 year old with a very large and wonderful imagination that I will continue to indulge and encourage.  That’s CERTAINLY the right thing to do….right?  I should indulge her when she says, “No Mommy!  I not Jaina.  I Preecesss Eia!”  I should just call her Princess Leia, right?  Right.

I don’t know if I should be concerned.  Every time I hear her speak those words "No Mommy!  I not Jaina.  I Preecesss Eia!”, I mentally remind myself it’s just all in good fun and totally normal.  

Sigh.

So yeah….

Ideas?

A Toddler's Perspective on Her Parents

Mommy's Right

Jaina:  "Mommy, what is this?" Pointing to a picture of a giraffe in a book

Me:  "It’s a giraffe, Jaina."

Jaina:  "You’re RIGHT, mommy!"

As if she was quizzing me.  As if she was trying to make sure I knew that it was a giraffe.  Making sure mommy wasn’t a complete moron.

Mommy's a Moron

At daycare, talking with her teacher:

Me:  "Jaina, tell your teacher what’s on your shirt." (It’s Tinkerbell)

Jaina:  *blinks*

Me:  "Who’s on your shirt, J?"

Jaina: …..silence…

So I change strategies.

Me:  "J, is that Mickey Mouse?  That’s Mickey Mouse!"

Jaina:  "No, mommy.  That 'ot Mickey Mouse."

And I’m not kidding when I say she says it in an exasperated tone, like she can’t believe I’m such an idiot.  How could anyone mistake Tinkerbell for Mickey Mouse?

Daddy Can be Tricked

Daddy bought a box of Mike and Ike candy and was handing Jaina one piece at a time.

Jaina:  "More pweeze, Daddy?"

Daddy:  "Only one more, Jaina.  Just one more.  How many more?"

Jaina:  "One moe, daddy."

He hands her one.  She eats it, then turns back to her daddy.

Jaina:  "More pweeze, Daddy?"

Daddy:  "Now remember, Jaina.  We agreed to only one more."

She pauses and thinks for a moment, then turns to him again.

Jaina: in a very excited tone  "How ‘bout two?!"

Mommy's a Big Girl

J’s taking a bath and I need to pee.  So I sit down and as soon as J hears the tinkle, she claps enthusiastically and proclaims “Yay Mommy!  You go Tee Tee in da potty!  Mommy a big gur-a!”

Mommy's just a Mom

As soon as J turned 2 she started calling me mom.  I had no idea 2 was too old to call your mother mommy, but apparently it is.   

She’d be in her room playing and call to me, “Mom, co’ here’a.”  At dinner I’d hear “Mom, I don’t want eat this.  I want CAKE.”  When I picked her up from daycare, she’d come running arms wide, yelling “MMMOOOOOMMMMMM.”  

 My dear husband only laughed when I complained about it, saying he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal.  Then, just the other day, when I got home from work, the first thing he said to me before I even sat down was “She called me Dad today.”   

That was it.  

No “Hi, honey!  How was your day?”  or “Shall I get started on dinner?” or “Here’s the remote, watch whatever you want.” Or “Your daughter missed her mommy so much today.”   

My reply?  “What’s the bid deal?”   

I’m not yet a good enough person to not throw a really good jab when the opportunity arises.

J's 2nd Birthday Recap

It's been 2 1/2 weeks!  I'm the mother of a 2 year old for 2 1/2 weeks now!  Crazy!  If I were honest with myself (and you, for that matter) I'd say that I never pictured what it would be like.  Most parents look at their newborn and can imagine 18+ years of that child's life.  Or, I think most parents can do that.  I tried.  I honestly tried, but aside from imagine the very next step in her development, I can not picture what she'll be like in a year, in 3, at age 8 or 16 or 25.  When she was born, I had no vision for what she'd be like at 2 years old.

I'm gleefully happy, surprised, yet not surprised at the precious little girl that I am blessed to call my own.

I told myself I wasn't going to go all out this time like last time.  I told everyone I wasn't going to invite that many people - only the most important.  I said things were going to be more simple, easier and less crazy.

It was that and it wasn't.  First, we didn't invite 50+ people like we did for her one year celebration.  We invited 30...okay 35. 

Second, we didn't have a professional photography at the party (so sorry the pics aren't as involved...I was busy during the party).  We did get family pics taken before the party, though. 

Third, I didn't get professionally made cakes or cupcakes.  My mother did them.

Decorations...well...I didn't have a Bouncer at the front door this time, or a pink carpeted walkway or VIP badges...so that's going less all out, right?

About 2 months ago (hush!  I like to plan ahead) we gave J several options for her birthday party theme.  Butterflies, Jewelry, Nemo, or Rapunzel.  Rapunzel, as you can see from the cupcake picture about, was the resounding choice.  And then it became all she could talk about.  And every time cake or cupcakes were brought out for any reason, she would insist it was for her "Punzel Birfday paaateee".

The day came and, with the help of family, the stage was set.  I have to say that without the help of our family, this party would not have been possible or even as awesome as it was.  I couldn't do it all.  My mother took charge of the food, my mother in law took charge of the games, and I decorated or directed others in helping.  It was a true team effort, and for me, that was almost as fun as seeing J's face during the entire party.

The most dramatic decoration we did was "the hair".  It was actually a roll of yellow plastic table cover.  We attached it to one wall, draped it across to the window rod, back to the wall, then up to the top of the stairs.  It was easier than it looks, but harder than I expected.  Duck tape wasn't enough to keep it up.  Duct tape on the ends then a few hammered in nails did the trick, though.  Then, we took 2 rolls of yellow streamers to hang down from the top of the stairs.  I thought the two textures would really clash, but they worked perfect together.  Everyone thought we had cut the table cloth to get that effect.

Here's what it looked like from above:

The table setting is always a biggie for me.  I ordered the Tangled them table cover and plates and napkins to give the general idea.

I took a strand of 25 big bulb white lights and put small white paper sacks on them, upside down.  I wanted the lantern effect so bad.  That's the whole point of the entire movie!  Also, you may notice some of the items, like the fruit dip, was served in iron skillets.  "Frying pans!  Who knew, right?" (quote from the movie) 

I created a stencil on by cutting out the sun design from some thin cardboard and then sponge painted some yellow paint on each bag.  I then cut two slits, criss-cross each other in order to slide the bags onto the lights.

For food my mother made sausage cheese balls, fruit dip with various fruits and cheeses, her Famous French Bread Dip, and of course the cupcakes.  We served pink lemonade and had a few cases of Mike's Hard Lemonade for any of the adults who wanted some.

Outside I opted to just do some quick chalk art for the entrance.  A bit less involved than last years roped off, pink carpeted walkway!  In the movie, Rapunzel does an amazing chalk art in the city of the sun and purple vines.  I in no way could replicate that, but I did feel like her when done, in that my arms were covered in purple and yellow chalk like her's were in the movie!

The games!  Oh the games.  The first game we did was go outside (in the shade) to chase bubbles with black paper plates with black handles glued on.  They were hitting them with frying pans!  There was a short snaffu were the bubble machine suddenly stopped and we were frantic to find new batteries.  Come to find out, one of our tiny guests had turned it off when we weren't looking! 

After everyone had sweated enough in the 100+ degree shaded heat, we went back inside to play Pin the Pascal on Rapunzel.  I bought the poster and game online.  We then took it to a local store and got all the parts lamenated for less than $2.  That way toddlers could re-stick the Pascal sticker and we could later hang it up in J's room.

My mother in law made a pinata for the party.  It was shaped like one of the lanterns. 

The kiddos had fun batting at it, but despite declarations that it was only taped and not glued, it did not want to bust open!  After an adult busted the bat to pieces on it, we finally got to the goodies with a hammer!

The little girl in white cracked me up.  She went and grabbed a cup when we started in on the pinata.  She waited patiently to fill her cup with candy and prizes.  Her mom was embarrassed as all get out but I thought it was fantastically smart for her to have that forsight!

Last but most likely the best part of all the games and decorations was the bean bag toss tower.  My mother in law made this and painted it.  The back is open, but reinforced with some 2x2's and a black cloth drapped over it.  It's a concrete form. with poster board forming the removable top.  Yellow (and a few white highlight) yarn forms her hair.  The bean bags are purple felt with the yellow star painted on them.  The kids LOVED this tower and really got a kick out of climbing in and getting their pictures taken inside.

For the toddlers, my mother in law told them that for each bean bag they tossed in a hole, they'd get a chocolate coin.  So they'd toss, she'd count, and they'd try to count along.  It worked remarkable well as a game for little ones.

The tower now sits in Jaina's room and she loves playing with it.

We decided this year to forgo opening presents in front of everyone, even though it was "smaller" this year.  I felt that it was boring for everyone last year to sit and watch and if there were multiples of a certain gift people were disappointed, or if she wasn't excited by their gift they would be a little upset.  I'd rather just skip the drama.  Plus, for a 2 year old all those gifts can be overload.

However, after most everyone left, and it was just the closest family and a few friends, I gave in to her grandparents pleading to open them.  I was planning to just have her open a few each day, but I didn't get my way.  Oh well!

She really enjoyed all of the gifts, but mostly enjoyed getting to see her family and her friends.  Her two bestie's made it to the party and they acted like they picked right back up from where they last let off!

Now...to start planning for her 3rd birthday party! 

I kid...

Sort of...

I really can't wait until her parties are just a slumber party with 3 or 4 girls over...