It's not always pretty, but it gets the job done.

It's not always pretty, but it gets the job done.

Need to tame a fly hair? Mom spit. Crumbs stuck to face from recent snack? Mom spit. Fix a squeaky door hinge or glue a toy piece back on with it. It's powerful stuff, that mom spit. It can even show how much you care.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Quote of the Day

"Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so."
-Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Quote of the Day

"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."
-George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones

Friday, June 14, 2013

Top 5

Because it’s been a while, I went back and reread some of my old posts.  Partly because I was needing some inspiration and partly because I was lazy.  One may be more than the other…

I’m trying to write, but I’m blocked at the current moment.  But the key to writing is to just do it and not judge.  Get the words out there and then go back later to refine (or judge).

So, in that vein of thinking I’m going to do an overview of my top five favorite posts I’ve written.  I may be just being lazy, though.  Please don’t judge…

Top 5 Favorite Posts:


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Quote of the Day

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

Friday, May 31, 2013

Tantrum Prevention 101

I was so smug.  My daughter never threw fits.  I felt bewildered when I read or heard other mom’s talk about tantrums.  I still read about how to deal with them, convinced that if I knew beforehand how to deal with them, it would be easier to prevent them or nip them in the bud, so to speak.

I was totally wrong.

Parenting really does a good job (and by good I mean beats you over the head over and over and over again even when you think you’ve got it) of teaching you the lesson that when you think you have your child figured out, you know nothing at all.  Speaking of, did you know that scientist have scientifically proven (how else would scientist prove something?) that the more you think you know the less you actually know. 

So with that introduction I will tell you how I, the all-knowing and wonderful, prevent all tantrums in my household.

1    Give them time to adjust – a “sensitive” child may need time to “adjust” to a “new” activity and quotation marks.  Thus you should provide a warning of the impending doom that whatever activity the child doesn’t actually really enjoy doing at the time will switch to another activity shortly that they may actually like better but will ultimately resist because it’s different.  A simple “we’ll be heading out in 5 minutes to go swimming” should suffice to throw them into a complete melt down that literally melts the bones in the child's body making them scream with such pain.  This may leave you confused, dear parent, for you may feel like laughing at the absurdity of your child’s blob squiggling on the floor, while simultaneously angry at the obvious rejection to your splendid idea, crossed with emotions of sadness, empathy, and a tequila shot of quilt.  BUT, pay no mind to the concoction of emotions, for you are THE PARENT.  You must resist joining your little one on the floor, for this too shall pass (or so they say).  Know this, within the next 20 minutes you will be walking Facebook Picture Perfect, hand in hand, out your door to take your child on the planned Facebook Picture Perfect trip to the swimming pool.  Giving your child time to adjust to a new idea is a perfect option to prevent tantrums. 

      Provide Options -  a tantrum-ing child is only throwing a fit because they feel like they've lost control.  They want more control.  So give it to them.  Options are your friend, parents.  Does your daughter want to wear the pink polka dot swim suit or the blue and white striped swim suit?  Pay no mind to when she presents a third option of the bathing suit from 3 sizes ago you forgot to hide..ahem...when she outgrew it.  It's merely a distraction.  Continue presenting her just the options you want her to pick from.  Ignore the squiggling blob that once was your child while you repeat the options for the 27th and half time.  Ignore the bubbling giggles as well as the gurgling cries that are threatening to erupt from you as you say to yourself "No, emotions, I'm trying to stay clean here.  Stop tempting me with your dangerous concoction.  I've been going to meetings, I'm on the 12 step plan.  I've been clean for a whole 2 days.  So back off."  Provide options to your child so they feel like they are in control of their life and thus will happily chose to do what you want them to do.

     When these options fail to work for you, well, do what I do.  Take a nice big swig of that emotion concoction and drown yourself in the glorious sensation of letting go.  Sorry I can't be of much more help.  See, I'm still trying to figure it all out myself and to attempt desperately to NOT project my daughters current reactions on to her future self.  It's not possible that her 16 year old self will be flailing her arms and legs and wailing in the parking lot of Target because I wouldn't get her the pink and green polka dot underwear set that some man at some company somewhere claimed was a bathing suit.  Surely that won't be my daughter.  Mostly because I'll have it all figured out by then how to prevent these tantrums by providing options, giving her time to adjust to new ideas, and finally quitting my daily indulgence in the emotion concoction.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

It's been awhile...and that's okay.

I had bloggy burnout.  It happens.  I got too caught up with comparing my blog to other blogs, tracking my visits, and getting let down if I didn't get a bunch of comments on my posts.  I rarely got a bunch of comments, so I was often let down. 

Plus, life happened.  And not that it doesn't happen when I'm blogging, but it got busy and became an easy excuse/reason to no blog.

It was a good break, honestly.  It let me live instead of worrying about how to document how I was living.  It gave me perspective in that I stopped comparing myself to other mommy bloggers.  But let's be honest here, I found other ways to compare myself to other moms and found a bunch of other ways to feel inferior to others.  But my perspective came in that it wasn't blogging that was causing those feelings.

I miss the community, though.  I miss seeing what others are experiencing and being able to relate.  I miss hearing other people relating to my experiences, when they're relate-able.  But mostly I miss the cathartic nature of writing.  I'm not a writer, per say.  I've never claimed to have a comprehensive mastery over the craft of writing.  (See, even that last sentence was horribly constructed and I literally sat her for 5 minutes figuring out the best way to put it together and that's the best I got.)  But something I'm learning about myself is that it's not about having the perfect words.  It's about getting these feelings and thoughts out.  The words can come later.  The feelings and thoughts are often not at all perfect and if I try to force them into a perfect set of words, they lose their power and meaning.  Just writing it down without judgement is how I can feel these things without judgement.

Without judgement is starting to become an important goal in my life right now.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't really think I'm a super judgmental person unless of course it concerns me.  I'm my own worst critic, as I think many people would say/have said/will say about themselves.  I hold on to a lot of thoughts and emotions, because, well, "they can't possibly be the right things to think and feel right now". 

I've always held to the theory that I will strive to teach my daughter that her emotions are okay and they are hers and to own them.  I scream this ideal at my husband when we're in the deepest of emotional battles.  (To be fair here, these don't happen all that often, and less and less as the years go by and we learn each other more and grow our relationship.)  But it takes those intense moments for me to let myself experience what I know should be true.

Writing allows me to remind myself that it's okay.  It's okay to just be.  It's okay to just write things down and let them exist in the world, in the imperfect world, in an imperfectly built sentence, to expose my imperfect self.

It is okay.